Around Valentine’s Day, in yoga classes all over the world, you’ll find teachers sequencing their classes around backbending and heart-opening, with a side of dharma usually relating to the heart chakra, love, or one of the four immeasurables- compassion.
Why? Because it’s hard to be practice love and compassion toward others with a heart that’s been closed off for the purpose of keeping it protected. The rounded shoulders, sunken chest, and general appearance of a body folding inwards doesn’t exactly scream “I’m open to love and being loved;” so this practice of opening up our front body in preparation for being open to love and practicing compassion is extremely important to how accepting we are-not only of others, but also ourselves.
The Dalai Lama knew all about the power of practicing compassion when he said:
The ancient practice of yoga, that which begins off the mat and has nothing to do with getting your foot behind your head, focuses on our attitude toward ourselves and others. Compassion, or Karuna in sanskrit, can be cultivated through kindness and having a genuine interest in the feelings of others. It helps us to better understand the stranger on the street as well as ourselves, as we realize the connection we all share as human beings.
As Tibetan Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön writes, “In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves. In particular, to care about other people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean–you name it–to have compassion and to care for these people means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves.”
Why would we want to open ourselves up to the possibility of facing pain? Because it gives us a better insight into the human experience, and with that we are able to transform the way we relate to suffering in the lives of others, and situations that come up in our own lives.
Practicing compassion can be as easy as imagining what another person is going through- even if it is an annoyance for you at that moment.
I remember hearing a story about a father who was on a subway with his three children one night, not paying any attention to the fact that they were running wild- banging into people, screaming loudly, and creating general chaos for a few minutes. Everyone on the train was giving the man dirty looks, scowling at the children, and whispering things such as “what kind of parent lets their child behave like that on the subway.”
After a few minutes, the poor man lifted his head out of hands and to no one in particular said, “Please excuse my children, we are on our way back from the hospital where we just found out their mother died this morning.. I’m not quite sure how to discipline them right now.”
How might those with loose lips have felt after hearing his predicament? I’d think their feelings toward him quickly switched from disdain to compassion, with a side of guilt for their previous thoughts.
Compassion is one of the most important qualities we can posses to increase the ease with which we move throughout our day- because most of our day involves relationships; interacting, understanding, and actually relating to others in different situations. The person behind the counter at the DMV, the mother with the crying toddler in aisle 5, or maybe our partner with whom we’ve put our relationship on hold because… well, it’s just too much work. But if we want to ultimately be happy, it takes work.
I love how the Dalai Lama, again, speaks of compassion, and why he promotes the practice:
“This, then, is my true religion, my simple faith. The doctrine is compassion. Love for others and respect for their rights and dignity, no matter who or what they are: ultimately these are all we need. So long as we practice these in our daily lives, then no matter if we are learned or unlearned, whether we believe in Buddha or God, or follow some other religion or none at all, as long as we have compassion for others and conduct ourselves with restraint out of a sense of responsibility, there is no doubt we will be happy.”
AMEN to that!
XOXO
Danielle
