“Gratefulness doesn’t come from being happy, but happiness comes from being grateful.”
Thanksgiving is like a big party at my dad’s house in Florida- 25 people eating outside at an elegantly set table overlooking the water-while kids happily jump in and out of the pool. It always goes off without a hitch, but there is much prep involved before the guests arrive, with everyone pitching in.
This year as we plowed through the to-do list, I tried to give my boys chores that were manageable, yet carried a sense of responsibility.
Questions came flying like bows at the Pilgrims’ first turkey.
How many things are on that list?
How long is it going to take?
If we spend our whole day helping you and not doing anything we want, what will you do for us?
Then came the cartoon moment in my head, as I heard the sound of a screeching car coming to a halt- and I lost it for two seconds: “HOW ABOUT BEING GRATEFUL YOU WILL EVEN HAVE FOOD TO EAT TONIGHT, UNLIKE SOME KIDS WHO ONLY EAT RICE ONCE A DAY!”
Ooopsie, I’m human.
I apologized for the outburst and sat them down to explain that the holidays, and especially Thanksgiving, were all about being GRATEFUL and helping others. The Cliff Notes:
ME: Yes, I realize wrapping ribbon around silverware isn’t as exciting as playing soccer, but it’s about the spirit of Thanksgiving, not sports, that we are here for in the first place- emphasis on the word GIVING, got it?
LIAM: The spirit of Thanksgiving- You mean the Pilgrims and the Indians?
JAKE: NO- DUH, the first REAL Thanksgiving was with the Spanish in 1565, right here in Florida.
ME: (blank stare on my face, not recalling this from history class-but I also never did NEW math before this year either)
LIAM: You don’t know what you’re talking about!
JAKE: I know more than you, I’m older!
ME: OKAY- you’re totally ruining my vibe here- back to giving and being GRATEFUL.
I switched my angle and offered up an example from my yoga practice- that of seva. I explained how seva means service and described actions that seek collective happiness through servicing the needs of others. In a nutshell, Seva is an expression of compassion, of the desire to uplift and assist people. I explained that they should be GRATEFUL for the chance to help prepare Thanksgiving dinner.
Now the blank stares came from the kids……OY, this parenting thing is hard.
I continued that helping others can be more fulfilling than kicking goals in the park. I reminded them of when they are sick and I take care of them, and even though it’s about them, it makes me happy to know I help them feel better. I do the same for my friends- I cook a mean chicken soup if you ever feel the flu coming on!
In grumbled unison: “Okay, okay, being grateful, and all that.”
Off they went to tie bows around the forks and knives…
More than anything else, it is the GRATITUDE practice I have added to my daily meditation that has truly changed my outlook on life. Dedicating 5 of the 20 minutes I sit, to give thanks for the wonderful family, friends and life that I have makes a world of difference.
On his blog last week, Tim Ferris wrote about gratitude training and it’s effects:
“From Cornell to the University of Michigan, scientists are looking at the far-reaching effects of practicing GRATITUDE just like exercise. Dr. Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis and Dr. Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas did a study on GRATITUDE training and found that:
“Daily GRATITUDE exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel GRATEFUL are also more likely to feel loved.”
Seems like a NO-BRAINER, doesn’t it?
You can incorporate this into your day by just taking 10 SECONDS each morning before your feet hit the ground- think of one thing you are GRATEFUL for and offer up some way you can service another and bring a smile to their face.
XO
Danielle
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